September 30, 2021

Let’s talk Mental Health!

It’s something no one is comfortable with, yet almost everyone suffers from mental health issues at some point.

Why are we so reluctant to openly share our struggles? Because of the stigma that comes with admitting you might need help. Well, one of the best things about being my age (68) is that I care less and less what people think and care more about what my needs are. And I’m here to tell you that I struggle with depression on and off and the pandemic has only made it worse.

Some days I feel like I’m invincible and other days I feel like the slightest thing might push me over the edge. My recent hospitalization, due to being exposed to someone who would not get vaccinated, has also brought out my anger issues. But I think that the main problem is that we now live in such an ugly world, where hate is rampant, politics divide us, violence ignites over issues like wearing a mask or getting vaccinated. Protests are a daily occurrence, and they rarely remain peaceful. If you are a news junkie, times are tough right now. My desire to remain informed clashes with my desire to preserve my mental health. I have taken a sabbatical from the news out of self-preservation.

Why is the world raging? Why do people feel comfortable attacking someone they don’t even know over a social media opinion? No one has the answers. Someone said to me the other day, “The world never used to be like this.”  I thought about it and she was wrong. The world has always been hateful, brutal, cruel and oppressive. We fight wars over ideologies and destroy countries, kill innocent people, and devastate entire landscapes…and for what? To force them to adopt our ideologies? Who or what gave us that right?

Social media is certainly greatly to blame, but in my humble opinion, social media is only the outlet for the frustration, anger and rage most of us feel. It is not the sole cause.  We have allowed a slow growing, no holds barred type of communication to replace talking in person, meeting face to face, and sharing our feelings with each other—DEVICES. We are living through devices—phones, tablets, computers—and we have lost the art of being intimate and personal. We do stupid things, say stupid things, just to get likes on social media. We are living our lives on facebook, Instagram and Twitter—but how reflective is that of our real lives? Usually, it is far removed from the truth.

I had a very heartfelt conversation with a friend recently about how she can’t be on social media anymore because she is constantly comparing her lonely life (recently divorced with grown kids who live in other states) and it was causing her deep depression. She said to me, “Everyone posts these happy pictures of happy families and it just hits me between the eyes how much my own life is not like that.”

I told her that most certainly their lives weren’t that perfect either but that they only choose to project what they want it to be—not necessarily how it really is. Once she thought about that, she said, “You know, I think you’re right.”  I hope I was able to help her realize that life on social media is nothing like real life. Real families have conflicts, they fight, they aren’t always as perfect as their images would have you believe. The difference is they choose not to share those things and only share what makes them feel good about themselves. Once you understand this—it can be easier to survive on social media without becoming depressed.

Today, I had a crappy day. Everything that could go wrong, went wrong. I parted ways my editor for being too busy to edit my book, I am still recovering from my hospitalization due to covid after-effects, I hit a big snag with publishing The Gift of Gisela in other markets (licensing stuff) and my son’s birthday is Friday and I may not be able to see him. There are times I just want to say “f*ck it” and walk away….but I don’t. Because I have also learned that tomorrow is another day and things can turn around in an instant. They usually do.

I am constantly uplifted by the spirit of my late sister, who died in 2008 from cancer. She fought so hard for her life—endured so much suffering—all in the hopes for one more day.  To honor her, I will take each day as it comes—good or bad—and be grateful for it. Thankfully, there is more good in my life than bad, but I want you to know that no matter how bad it gets YOU ARE NEVER ALONE. Just reach out to someone you trust, someone you love, and let them know you need them. You will be amazed at how therapeutic and healing it can be to share your heart with another person. I am here for you too—if you need me—you can contact me on my website and I promise I will respond.

Looking forward to better days, and as always,

with love and appreciation,