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Beanie Blog #16
May 15, 2025 The Thing About Having a Voice
We all know and understand how valuable our speaking voice is. I certainly know it and it has been an integral part of my life—my voice. I sang to my kids as babies, I talk endlessly to my best friend, have long heartfelt talks with my husband—the list goes on. But now, at age 71, my speaking voice is compromised. I recently had my second vocal cord surgery at the University of Michigan hospital in Ann Arbor (I have suffered from vocal cord paralysis of unknown origin for over 20 years). My brilliant surgeon removed a chunk of my cords during each surgery in order to offer me better breathing, which had become difficult. I trust him completely and have avoided a tracheostomy for years because of his talent as a surgeon. My voice quality suffered each time, but this time a little bit more. He used an aggressive technique that also removed part of the cartilage attached to the cord to offer me better breathing with longer lasting effects. I feel like a medical pioneer because I was the first patient he ever performed this type of surgery on. Thankfully, it was a complete success. It would have been easy for me to start mourning the loss of my usual voice and only being able to speak just above a whisper, but I am not grieving. Why? Because as a writer, I have realized that I still have my voice—only now it’s with written words. I have written and published 8 novels, with the ninth and tenth underway. I have expressed my creativity by writing for many years, and I will always have that voice. Nothing can take that away from me. Just as the deaf person communicates with sign language, I can still communicate my feelings through the written word. I can still speak, not as strong as before, but I feel the trade-off for better breathing was well worth it. You see, the thing about having a voice is there are many ways to use it. The painter expresses himself through his art, the dancer through movement, the athlete through physical strength, and the writer with her words. I still have my voice and am not grieving. My written words will speak for me. As always, with love, thank you for being on this journey with me, Sabina (Beanie) Boston
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